Burning Through X – Should I stay or Should I go …

Boxing day and I am shifting and moving as I wake. My first thought is imagining the ferry crossing … I know I want to be on the ferry to Sonora tonight. I need to leave today to have enough time to check out some of the places I researched in Sonora and start my journey back to Vancouver. Mental calculations before my foot hits the floor creates an unwarranted sense of urgency.

It’s my anniversary on 2 fronts but that part of my life seems far away. There is a passing thought followed by guilt for the absence of feelings. This is a selfish adventure and I am admittedly self absorbed. It is a trip I have needed to take for a long time. The guilt is quickly replaced by the realization that I am indeed here in this Baja town, that I got here by bus and that I have to get back. There is a lot to work out.

Boxing day is a business day I decide – book the ferry, make arrangements to use my hotel room for the day, go to the internet café and make arrangements to take the train from San Diego to Seattle. I decide on the train recognizing that while Greyhound provides a unique adventure, I’m ready to ride the rails. The bus … been there - done that.



An hour later my plans are dashed – in broken Spanish I learn the “California Star” will not travel on Boxing Day. It is a deflating discovery and it feels like groundhog day – my body remembers my Tijuana bus station debacle – destinations determined by the transportation company instead of by me the traveler. So my trip takes another unexpected swing. Decision time. The next ferry is in 2 days. Baja is long – you either go south or north. A Clash song rattles around my head as I prattle through some huevos rancheros at a corner cafe – “Should I stay or should I go now …”

I resolve my train departure. I have to be in San Diego on New Years eve to take the train early on New Years day. I have five days. It is a tense moment when I hit the purchase button with my credit card number typed in, sitting in a plywood cubicle in a storefront internet café street side in this small Mexican town. The kid next to me is playing computer games and the ever present Mariachi boom box cars chug by outside. The next screen says “confirmed” and I print out my Amtrack ticket. A wave of relief sends me out to the street. Now what …